via: pink-pearls-and-polka-dots.tumblr.com

FOOTBALL IN THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH

Women’s Accessories

North: Chapstick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, waterproof mascara, and a fifth of bourbon; money isn’t necessary – that’s what dates/husbands are for, sugah.

Stadium

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers

North: Expect their daughters to understand Shakespeare.

South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Homecoming Queen

North: Also a physics major.

South: Also Miss America. (ouch) 

Getting Tickets

North: Five days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.

South: Five months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and put your name on a waiting list.

Getting to the Stadium

North: You ask, “Where’s the stadium?” When you find it, you walk right in.

South: When you’re near it, you’ll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state’s third largest city.

Parking

North: An hour before game time, the university opens the campus for game parking.

South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Tailgating

North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with a lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

South: Thirty-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn.

Concessions

North: Drinks served in paper cups, filled to the top with soda.

South: Drinks served in a plastic cup, with the home team’s mascot on it, filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

When National Anthem is Played

North: Stands are less than half-full, and less than half the people stand up.

South: A hundred thousand fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

After the Game

North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week’s game.

-From 

The Grits Guide to Life

 

(via romanticpremed)